It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
