9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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