i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
