what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
