hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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