Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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