and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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