I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize