Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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