I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
