guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize