The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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