dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
