You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
