whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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