I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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