I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
