u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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