i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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