not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
