I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We are all done wearing pants today
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I party with great urgency now.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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