i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
