I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
