Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
