please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Randomize
