plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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