i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
