he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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