I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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