It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize