Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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