Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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