jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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