ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
