it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
