also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
