when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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