i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
