his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
