So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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