you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize