no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
