Kiss
Puke
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
