So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
