All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
