GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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