Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
