the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
