I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
