Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
