Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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