He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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