if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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