just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize