dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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