highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
