I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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