Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
