you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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