you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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