Yo dont text me then not text me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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