Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize