Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
