..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize