yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Please, let me fuck your mom
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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