I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
