Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
