Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
