I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
