But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
