I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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