They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
