Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize