i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
