She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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