PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
