i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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