She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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