you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
