don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
